Axiom Bitter Sweet
by E.R. Burke
Summary: A DGMxNaruto crossover. The Order gains a mysterious new recruit who creates all emotions from jealousy to fear to a crush. But, between being Kanda's new rival, Allen's new friend, and Komui's new "Red Alert", how could he possibly survive?
1. Unwelcome

**I have no clue what possessed me to write this, other than I had nothing to do and I wanted to write... something. ANYHOW! Tell me what you think, Read and Review, etc.**

**I don't own Naruto or D. Gray-Man. It's painfully obvious. Although I really wish I _did_ own them. But it's better not to trust me with them.  
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**Unwelcome**

It had been a long and unusually aggravating day for Kanda. Akuma, he could handle. Lavi overdosed with sugar and Root Beer, he could not. He was devastated enough to have been sent with the red-head again, for the third time that month, but God knows it also had to be to a place where Lavi inconveniently managed to find a candy store. And there were very few things Kanda hated more than sweets. He'd been smart enough to avoid them, unlike his partner, who was sure to suffer cavities aplenty and insomnia. Neither of these, the samurai realized, was good for him as when Lavi got a tooth ache, Kanda would be the first person the Bookman would think to whine to, and when Lavi couldn't sleep, Kanda was sure to get him knocking on is door and asking for something stupid and unreasonable, like Yu's box of hair ties.

The train ride back had only just come to an end, and Kanda was having his nightmarish visions already. Fear of the night to come was more than enough to sober him of any hope in getting enough sleep.

Yu Kanda stepped silently off of the train, his dark hair trailing behind him with dignity. It may, however, have looked a big _more_ honorable had Lavi not braided it earlier, and caused a bit of a lingering wave to curve down the pony tail. As Lavi ran childishly up next to him, forming a tight fist was all Kanda could do to keep from taking out a good few of the other boy's teeth. It was even more tempting to follow through with the urge when the Bookman started to chatter wildly and several heads turned in their direction.

"Yu-can, don't you think it would be just great?! I mean really, there-"

"Do NOT use my first name, baka!"

"- really should be a new member or so soon! There hasn't been anybody for SUUUUUUCH a long time! And, all of the new ones are too quiet! It's going to be really tough if nobody starts taking authority Yu! And speaking of which, why are you always the one leading the missions? I'm perfectly capable of it!-"

"Because you're an idiot," Kanda muttered to himself, seeing as Lavi wouldn't hear it even at full volume. He'd wised up to the ways of the rabbit by now. It would be foolish not to, after all. He drifted into temporary thought of gagging Lavi and tossing him into a dark alley for anybody to find. However, he decided against it. Komui was sure to do something stupid if he found out, and that was worse than having to deal with Lavi to start with.

For Komui was the guy, who was the problem.

"Oh! Look Yu-chan! There's Allen!"

"DO NOT CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME YOU MORON!" Clearly, Lavi didn't catch a single word of it, because he was off and running towards the grinning Moyashi.

And then Kanda remembered why he'd been talked into going with Lavi. The older exorcist had no desire whatsoever to be anywhere near the cursed, emotional, and immature white-haired boy. He'd rather have used Mugen to do brain surgery on himself. This, however, was not an option as any inflicted wound he made would quickly heal, and if he opened up his own skull, Kanda reminded his temper, he'd be hospitalized and have to deal with overly-caring Tiedoll, Lavi unnecessarily dropping by every half-hour, and the Head Nurse's bad mood. It simply wasn't worth the trouble.

Lavi was now distracted with jabbering away to Allen, who seemed to be taking it more leisurely than Kanda ever could have hoped to, no matter how stupid the 'conversation of one' had managed to become. He tried to walk right past the two without looking over, without giving a damn, and without noticing either of them existed just for a few minutes.

"Hi… Kanda…" Allen said it quietly, but noticeably enough that Kanda heard, scowled, and shot a nasty glare over.

"The hell do you want Beansprout?!"

"N-nothing! I just said 'hi'! And my name is Allen!"

Kanda made a truly disgusted face and lightly shook his head to demonstrate just how little he liked Allen. And then he just walked off, leaving the white-haired teen in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Whoops! Well, Yu-chan is off so I'd better be going too! Later Allen!" And then the other Black Order member was gone too.

There the young exorcist stood in the street and watched as they left. He was actually a bit hurt that Kanda would act so cold towards him. What real reason did the older teen have to dislike him? He'd never actually done anything to deliberately harm the guy, and he still treated the Parasite-type exorcist with true disrespect. He dubbed "Moyashi" was beginning to think there was nobody in the world who could ever gain the slightest bit of give-a-damn from Kanda.

The trail of ideas deflated and depressed Allen enough so that he really wasn't paying the tiniest bit of attention as he walked to wherever after an unknown amount of time. It might have been a few minutes, or a few hours at that, and perhaps the better part of the day for all Allen remembered, but he just kept walking. If he stopped, he feared, the onslaught of depressing reflections would worsen.

It was in his thoughtful stupor that Allen tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and landed right on is face. This sobered him very fast. Fast enough, in a way that he was actually thankful for, to realize there were explosions going off somewhere around the corner. He couldn't believe he didn't hear them earlier, and that was a bit pathetic, he stated to his self, but took it no farther. Allen was too busy for that. He was occupied with running in the direction of the action with hopes that it wasn't another Akuma.

But, of course, it was false hope. It always was. Five 'Level One' Akuma were furiously unleashing a barrage of their bullets at what looked like a wall. Their targeted area, however, was continuously changing in random and unpredictable directions. Allen invocated his Innocence and approached cautiously, trying not to attract any of their attentions.

An unbearable scream shot out from one of the mechanical demons. Allen's mind raced to keep up with is eyes. Some sort of object, bone-white and sharp, had sliced right through the monster's face. The Akuma faded into dust, the others still shooting at the unseen attacker.

The watching exorcist was now sure that something very important was happening. He jumped, and without really thinking too much about whom the Akuma's other enemy might be, he cut through one of the Akuma. Now they turned to him, forgetting momentarily about the other enemy. But, as soon as the remaining three's backs were turned, two were destroyed by the mysterious white blade. The final screeched as Allen killed it in its confused state.

In front of the Walker boy there landed a human figure. It was crouched low to the ground in a fighting stance, cold and readied. From behind a long tattered sleeve that guarded the face of the secondary boy, as his strength clearly conveyed, were a pair of green, steely eyes. They examined the exorcist with a mixture of query and also of judgment.

"Uh… Hello there," Allen grinned softly, lowering his arm to try to seem less threatening.

The boy didn't respond in any way.

"I'm Allen, Allen Walker. What's your name?"

"…"

"Not much of a talker, I guess. Erm, alright… What are you doing out here, exactly? Why did the Akuma attack?"

He blinked, but it was pretty unlikely that had anything to do with the questions. Still he held a fierce stance. Allen was actually starting to become intimidated. The other boy surely believed him to be the enemy, and if he fought as well against people as he did Akuma, conflict would be a problem. Allen decided to try a different approach.

He lifted his hands to shield him, open palmed, and made a world-known stance of 'I'd-rather-not-fight'. "I don't want anybody to get hurt here. Let's just drop our weapons now, alright?" Allen's Innocence faded back into its normal, inactive form.

It was a long minute, especially for Allen, but the other boy straightened out and stabbed the crude-looking sword into the ground, forgetting it completely it seemed. Even more gradually than loosening, he walked over to Allen, who was trying to be absolutely still. The boy was very close to his height, perhaps a little taller if anything, and he had a power to his movements that bled into all of his features which were bold in one way or the other .The boy's hair, unnervingly, was just about the same color as his own; it had just a touch more gray to it.

Soon enough, the two were just a foot away from each other and staring with opinion. Allen started again. "I'm Allen Walker." He reached out his hand; still pretty sure it wouldn't be taken but willing to try.

"… Kimimaro… Kimimaro Kaguya." His voice was strong and fitting for his appearance. The handshake was taken lightly.

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	2. Jen's Tavern

**Alright! Second chapter! Oh, and thank GOD for the return of D. Gray-Man! I was starting to suffer withdrawl symptoms! xD**

**I don't own Naruto. I don't own D. Gray-Man. And neither do you, I bet. See, I'm psychic! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!  
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The restaurant was warm and inviting. The bar was filled with people chatting happily and it was well-lit, even though it was getting late. At the little table near the corner of the establishment Allen and Kimimaro were getting to know one another. Rather, Allen was trying and getting absolutely nowhere in speaking happily with the Kaguya.

"So, do you have any family?"

"No."

"No? Neither do I, really. But I've got some friends around here. They're part of the Black Order. You ever heard of them?"

"No."

"… Well, that's okay! I'm going to have to introduce you to Head Officer Komui. He'll know what to do. He usually does but…" Allen trailed off and pulled Kimimaro in close for the next part of the conversation. "Just don't ruin your weapons or you'll have to deal with him."

"He gets angry?"

"No, he fixes them in a really traumatizing manner." As Allen's voice changed to a smaller pitch when speaking of the Head Officer, Kimimaro wasn't willing to push the conversation farther. Both sat back in their chairs. "You're not from around here, are you Kimimaro?"

"No." It was a bit obvious really. His clothes suggested he'd probably lived closer to Japan than anywhere else; even though they were torn up bad from a few weeks of wandering the streets and a couple of Akuma fights, as it had turned out an attack had taken place on him before. His shirt was quite a bit too big for him, though Allen didn't point it out, and as an obi that had probably once accompanied the outfit was long gone, it really wasn't the most helpful thing to wear. His pants had holes in the knees, and his shoes were worn down to the point where he might have been better off with bare feet. A fair amount of dirt had accumulated all over the boy's face, though he didn't really take notice of it.

What Allen couldn't see was that Kimimaro was busy having a sensory overload. Of the three or four times he'd ever been to any town, and small ones at that, he'd never talked to any people in it. It was strictly always him and somebody else from his own village, and both were on important tasks no doubt. He'd never so much as sat in a restaurant before, let alone one as friendly as this with a person he'd only met an hour ago. It was difficult to think about such small matters when every instinct in his body was telling Kimimaro that one of the people laughing and smiling at the other end of the room was sure to leap out and try to slit his throat. He knew it was a stupid thing to assume, but he couldn't really help it. The best he could do was try not to appear like he was so paranoid and focus on what Allen as trying to say.

And conversations weren't exactly one of his well-practiced skills either.

"What are you doing here, exactly? I mean, I don't mean to be rude or anything! I'm just curious so… um…" Allen knew he was walking himself right into a tongue tie.

"I don't know." His eyes shifted towards the window, trying to find a safer distraction.

It seemed to the exorcist that Kimimaro was fond of the short-answer to questions. "So, you're lost then? Is there somewhere in particular you were trying to get to?"

"… It doesn't matter anymore."

An answer like that, filled with regret and sorrow, was what spawned Allen's interest. "Come again?"

Kimimaro, realizing too late he'd let the thought slip, turned back to his company. "It's too late to fix things now. It wouldn't matter if I got back home or not."

"What happened?"

Kimimaro didn't answer, and turned back to the window. The glass was clean and well-washed. He'd never seen any glass object shine other than an occasional syringe tube Kabuto would take use of. Everything _pleasant_ he looked at seemed to bring _unpleasant_ memories.

"I… I see…" The waitress arrived. Her long somewhat-blond hair was held back in a pony tail and she smiled sweetly at both of the boys.

"Hello again Mister Allen!"

"Oh, hi Jen." He was a bit relieved to find she was the one working that night. He never had to explain the need for large portions when she served at the tavern.

"You want the usual, right?"

Allen grinned. "Yeah. You know it pretty well by now, right?"

"That's right." She looked at the Kaguya inquisitively, still just as sweet as a moment before. "Hello there. I'm Jen. I'll be the waitress for both of you tonight. What can I get for you?"

"Um… Just some water thanks."

"No problem. It should b-" She never got the chance to finish. Behind her, one man was thrown behind the bar violently. The one who'd tossed him was cussing and breaking things in drunken rage. Jen released a heavy sigh as some of the customers fled to the other end of the building, and some even left. She held her hand up to stop Allen from rising to stop the man himself. "No, no… It's my bar, I'll fix the problem."

Kimimaro and Allen couldn't really do much but blink and obey. After all, in the one second it took Ms. Jen to make her self look and sound like a homicidal maniac, making her mad seemed unwise. Jen grabbed the man by the back of his collar, threw him to the ground, and stood on him in one of the cleanest and scariest movements Allen had ever seen, next to the occasional "Kanda tantrum". Kimimaro, of course, had seen attacks far worse, but this was frightening as Jen managed to be even louder than Tayuya in her "Bitchy Mode", and she looked more ornery than Jirobo after he'd gone two days without eating.

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME MORON?!"

"N-no ma'am!" The poor drunk was weeping and trying fruitlessly to crawl away.

Jen scoffed at the man, and threw him into the nearest closet. "You can come out when you're sober!" And then, the rather aggressive girl slammed the door shut and wiped her hands of the matter. Of course, a minute later she looked around to see she'd managed to empty out the entire building, excluding Kimimaro and Allen. She grumbled inwardly. "Damn! I've done it again!" Jen, now in a huff that was completely her fault but unaccepted as such, stormed into the kitchen.

Kimimaro cleared his throat. It was unfortunate he didn't know his company very well, as there were many remarks about Ms. Jen he would have liked to make. He folded his arms and looked back outside. Everything was blanketed in a velvety darkness. There was a hint of light streaming out of a few buildings nearby, but the moon's presence was otherwise lonely.

"Hey, Kimimaro," Allen began.

The pale teen looked over, but barely changed his position. "Hm?"

"Back with those Akuma… Where did you learn to fight like that?" This query was enough to get the Kaguya boy to turn back into the conversation. "I've never seen anything like it. Who taught you?"

"My master, mostly. He was a very powerful warrior."

"He _was_?"

A sadness crept into Kimimaro's eyes, which lowered to the table in a shameful way. "He was very unwell, when I last saw him… And that was almost a year ago now."

Allen was starting to regret asking any questions at all. He'd prefer not to make the already lost and confused companion depressed as well. "I'm sorry to hear that." It was silent for a while.

"What about you? Who taught you to fight?"

"Me? I don't know. I mostly had to teach myself. _My_ master was no help at all! He's a pain…"

"A 'pain'?"

"You have no idea."

"How is he a 'pain'?"

"Uh… um… ugh… You know what; I'm just going to say this! He's an alcoholic, womanizing bastard!" As soon as it escaped him, Allen threw his hands over his mouth as if they would be vacuumed back in by the action. Of course, they were not, and for a minute, Allen Walker was very worried he'd offended Kimimaro.

But, Kimimaro just smiled, thoroughly entertained by the first topic they'd been on that didn't involve the circumstances that even he didn't fully understand. "He sounds like a handful, but I'm not sure 'pain' would be appropriate."

"… He dumped all of his… his **debts** on _me_."

"…Wow…" Kimimaro was instantly swayed to Allen's opinion. The debt his own master had gained before he attacked the Leaf Village was probably enough to make anybody but Kabuto-sensei's brain burst. Judging on Allen's reaction, his master's probably wasn't too far off.

"Ugh… no kidding." Kimimaro was surprised to find that now the Walker boy had taken his turn in being depressed. "I'm doomed."

Kimimaro, at first, really couldn't think of an argument. It was all true. When it came to cash, Allen was clearly screwed. "Have you talked to your master about it?"

"He disappeared in India."

"I see." Kimimaro had no idea what "India" was, but he understood "disappear" quite well. He looked over to see a now far more civil Jen making her way over. "It looks like the food is done."

It was like Kimimaro had said the magic words. Allen popped up and grinned stupidly, drooling inside of his mouth. Jen set an absolutely, unmatched portion of dumplings on the table in front of Allen-one hundred and fifty-six as she had said-and got Kimimaro his glass of water, leaving behind a glass pitcher in case he wanted more. Kimimaro stared at the dumplings for a minute, and then looked away. He took a sip of the water. It was unusual to him. It tasted pure and clean, whereas all the water he'd ever remembered having before was fouled by some kind of dirt or perhaps just the stench of the place he'd drank it in.

When the taller boy looked up from his glass, _every single one_ of the dumplings was gone. It took as very quick reaction to keep from spitting the water across the table and into the exorcist's face. He felt his right eye twitch under the pressure. He'd seen Jirobo take much larger portions, but he'd never seen ANYBODY eat ANYTHING that fast. Come to think of it, he'd never seen Allen _eat_ any of it. He made a mental note to look around for strange, unending vortexes to nothing the next time Allen ate.

And also, he'd be sure not to be drinking anything, as drowning in a glass of water didn't appeal to him much.

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	3. Kinda Welcomed

**As always, enjoy, review, and I don't own any characters from either of the series. I do own Jen from the last chapter, but I made her up spur of the moment to fill space. -_- Yeah...**

**REVIEWS PLZ!!**

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**Welcomed… Kinda**

Kimimaro couldn't help the uneasiness building up in his stomach when he stared up at the Black Order Headquarters building. He'd never seen anything, no tree, nor structure, as big as that _thing_. He wasn't actually entirely sure what it was supposed to be called.

"Um…" Allen got a slightly guilty, but mostly Oh-crap-I-overlooked-something face. "The gatekeeper _really_ doesn't like me, so I usually just climb up to my window…"

"…Alright?" Kimimaro had no idea what the boy what getting at. It was the middle of the night, so it wasn't as if anybody would catch him if he was careful.

"Are you… well… It's on the top floor… so… _How well can you climb_?"

Kimimaro's face dropped. He was actually a little bit insulted by the question. It was lucky for Allen that he hadn't known Kimimaro very long, and that the Kaguya clansman had taken a liking to him. Otherwise, the _somebody_ might well have been in for a world of hurt. "I can climb _very_ well."

"Oh, good." The exorcist wouldn't have fully believed it for anything. The only reason he himself could get up that way was thanks to his anti-Akuma weapon, and it was a problem sometimes even so due to the wandering scientists who might catch him at any time on their overtime shifts. Being caught seven stories up dangling from a balcony by one's left hand was something Allen didn't desire for the sake of whatever pride he still had that he'd managed to hide from Cross. The shorter white-haired boy looked straight up from where he stood. "My window's right up there."

Walker was surprised that Kimimaro managed to scale one fourth of the way up the building with grace, speed, and silence, before Allen's Innocence was even activated. "Aha… he wasn't kidding…"

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"You're a little slow, Allen."

"I… hff… I am not! Hfff… Hff…" Allen had managed to at last crawl through his window. He was breathing heavily. How was it that a task that took him at least twenty minutes to complete with difficulty took his new comrade only maybe five minutes, and then he still had the time and energy to hang upside-down from the sill and look around.

Kimimaro shrugged. He knew perfectly well that not everybody could keep up with him, but he wasn't about to say it. He'd save that for when he really needed to combat somebody.

"Right so," Allen picked himself up. "The showers are just one floor below, you can't miss them. I'll go find Komui in a while, and we'll talk to him."

"Wouldn't he be asleep?"

"Yeah, but it's alright to wake him up."

The slightly older teen shrugged again. It wasn't as if he was really an expert on the subject. He opened the door, looked both ways down the hall, and made his way to the stairs.

The Kaguya had reminded Allen over and over again at the tavern that he didn't want, need, nor except any help. But, if there was one thing the kid had going for him, it was definitely determination. It had taken almost two hours before they came to a compromise in the plan of action. Actually, it wasn't so much a compromise as Kimimaro losing a battle of words. As said before, conversation wasn't his strong point.

"… I just lost a fight," he whispered. Kimimaro mentally slapped himself.

--

The people had _running water_.

They had Kimimaro's respect from that hour onward.

He'd actually never been in a place with running water before. And this explained a lot about him. Everything form his lack of people skills to his continually obvious amazement at the crazy technology of wherever he'd been sent to was emphasized in that little point. He was disappointed in himself for having to take a few minutes just attempting to figure out how to turn the water on.

Kimimaro, now clean and in a far better mood, looked at his clothes. They were in possibly the worse condition he could ever recall. Orochimaru-sama was sure to be upset when…

But, there was no more Orochimaru _to_ get upset with him. Kimimaro took a long, hard look at himself in the mirror. It was strange. He looked like himself. Most of the time, he felt perfectly normal. But, since he'd left his master's side for the last time, he'd noticed his attitude changing. He could remember a time when if he'd been led to think he was in any danger at all, he would attack. Now it took confirmation. Now he was less willing to battle.

He pulled away from his image, realizing he was only succeeding in frustrating himself. Kimimaro quickly got dressed and dried his hair in the manner he deemed fastest- rapidly shaking his head back and forth.

As he exited, he noticed a very nervous Allen tapping his foot outside. The boy's eyes shined with concern. "So… Are you ready to meet Komui?"

Kimimaro simply nodded.

Little did he know of the insanity he was willingly trotting right into.

--

The Kaguya boy silently stood against the wall as he watched Allen enter a room clearly labeled "SCIENCE DEPARTMENT".

Science… Science… The only sciences he ever cared to learn anything about were the completely over complicated drabble Kabuto-sensei would attempt- and fail to- explain. The man with glasses had deemed it a hopeless cause after Kimimaro started his serious training and had no time for anything but missions. However, it was rather nice to know the specifics of one's regular bone structure. Had Kabuto not forced him to chart out all of the major areas of the skeletal system, the white-haired ninja would probably be a mess.

"**LENALEE**!!!" The ninja found he had jumped when that awful scream erupted from behind the doors. The shock faded fast, however, when he heard people inside grumbling things like "Are you kidding me?!", "Ugh! Not again!" and even "God Komui! SHUT UP!!"

Komui, at being thoroughly convinced Lenalee was indeed still single and untouched, tossed on his hat, grabbed his bunny mug, and poured some coffee very fast as Allen told him what had happened. "-So, he's definitely got Innocence!"

"Indeed! I'll have to have a nice chat with him! Now-"

Allen rushed after the nearly-skipping Head Officer. "Wait! Komui-sama! Be careful! He's a little… well… He's a little bit-"

"Is he as bad as Kanda?" For a split second, true fear flashed in the eyes of the Chinese man.

"No! Not even close! But-"

"Then I'll manage!" His bright grin completely hid the fact that he'd only awoken a few minutes ago. The coffee probably didn't hurt either. The dark-haired man stumbled out of the Science Department, turned literally one his toes to the right, and was face-to-face with a fairly confused Kimimaro. "Hah! You must be the young man Allen has been telling me about! Nice to meet you!" Komui grabbed on to the ninja's hand without consent and swiftly shook it. Had the boy not been so very strong, he might have been tossed around the hallway.

"It's an honor to meet you as well sir." Kimimaro didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. He was actually plenty disturbed by the sudden warmth.

"Oh, no need to be so formal! Now, Allen here says that you possess Innocence. Will you demonstrate?"

"… Innocence?"

Komui's eye twitched a bit behind his glasses. "Oh, Allen~."

"Er, yes sir?"

"You did explain to him what Innocence was when you had the chance, riiii~ght?"

"…Uhm…"

The Head Officer made a face that could give the Millennium Earl himself nightmares. "Oh Allen~!"

"Eh… hehe… Yes, sir?"

"You had me wake up at one in the morning, _on a weekend_, to speak with this nice guy, and you haven't told him about **Innocence**, or **Akuma**, or **the Earl**, or **the Noah**, or **the Order's purpose**, and you think I am just going to do it **all by myself**? **_Hm_**?"

"N-no Komui-sama!"

"**YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT I'M NOT!!**"

"Actually," Kimimaro cut in before anything unreasonably violent could take place, "I think I know most of what's going on."

"… Oh?"

"Yes sir."

"Just Innocence then?"

"That was never explained to me."

Komui smiled normally, now in an obviously better state. "Well then, let's go pay a visit to Hevlaska."

--

"Are you kidding me?!" Kanda sat up when three knocks on his door and a childish yowl invaded what little sleep he'd gotten. It would seem Lavi had returned. "Dammit baka usagi! Seventeen times is ENOUGH! No, you may NOT borrow my hair ties!!"

"No, it's not that!" Sure enough, it was the Bookman again. "Yu-chan, there's a new exorcist! I just heard from Reever!"

"Do I give a shit?!... And don't use my first name!!"

"Aw! Come on! Don't you at least want to go meet him?"

"NO!! Go away! For the love of GOD, **let me sleep**!!" Kanda lay back down and buried his head between his two pillows.

Lavi sniffed. "AW~! But Yu-cha~n!!"

"RRRRGH!!!" It seemed that early-morning would have to be canceled.

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**Yeah, not the most solid chapter. But have no fear! For next time,** **Kimimaro meets Kanda! DUN DUN DUN!!!**

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	4. Not so Humbled

**Hey all! Hope you enjoy. After reading, please take the poll on my profile, as it is related to this story. I've had a few friends ask about other characters, so I'd better know soon if it's going to happen. REVIEW.**

**I don't own Naruto or DGM.**

**And, my grandparents are here for the weekend, so don't be too hopeful for another release tomorrow, as much as I'd love to have it finished by then.**

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**Not-So Humbled**

Komui was oddly silent as he led Kimimaro back from Hevlaska's chambers. Allen, who waited patiently in the Science department, could feel the aura of confusion and fear as he passed and returned to his desk. The dark-haired scientist supported his head in his hands as he looked over his notes, and then occasionally stared up at the equally quiet Kimimaro.

"Is something wrong?" Allen at last spoke.

"Nothing like this has ever happened before," he commented. Komui, removing his glasses and clearing some dirt from the lenses with his sleeve suddenly seemed very tired, as if the coffee had worn off. "I didn't think it was possible."

"What was possible?"

Komui cleared his throat. "Kimimaro, I'm going to need a blood sample. Alright with that?"

The Kaguya nodded. "Yes sir."

Of course, it was only a moment later when the Head Officer held up a syringe the size of a _small horse_ that he was smart enough to rethink the answer. The needle flashed ominously next to his nose, and Komui's devious grin was spread across his face like a child opening birthday presents. "Let's get cracking then~!"

"Uh… is it necessary to have _that_ big of a needle, sir?"

"Hm, are you afraid of needles?"

"No! Not at all! It just seems-"

"Then you should be FINE!!"

Kimimaro's eye twitched as the point grew steadily closer and closer to his face. A trickle of chilled sweat ran down his forehead. _Somehow_, though he wasn't sure exactly how that '_somehow'_ had come about, he managed to develop his first real fear. Fear of whatever Komui had in store in the ways of medicine.

--

"I take it that things didn't go too well with Hevlaska?" Allen curiously stared at the taller boy, who had taken to rubbing his right arm where Komui had managed to get the blood sample, surprisingly missing the neck, head, and various other vital areas. Though Kimimaro was thankful for the lack of damage, he was really just pleased Komui caught the vein on try one and didn't have to redo the process.

"…As well as they were going to…"

"What does that mean?"

He sighed in answer. "I don't think we have any conclusive answers yet."

"Oh… alright…" Allen looked down the hall, in the direction of the ever-cherished cafeteria. "Hey Kimimaro, were you ever formally educated?"

"… No."

"REALLY? You sure talk like you were."

"…Allen…"

"Yeah?"

"Now would be a good time to stop asking me questions."

"Uh… Okaa~y." Allen understood. It had been a very long night for Kimimaro, as he'd not gotten any sleep and even after getting blood drawn, he had to get measured for a uniform, assigned a room, and given the basic tour of the Order's HQ, which was drawing to a close. The two stepped into the dining hall. A few Finders, all crowded up in little groups, looked over for a short second before turning away and talking some more. Kimimaro followed the lead of the more experienced exorcist, who took a seat in a relatively unattended table. "So, this is the cafeteria… but you know that. Most everybody here is cool, but if you see Kanda, it's probably best to avoid him."

"Who is 'Kanda'?"

The boy with the curse over his eye made an awful, ornery-looking face. "He's this really annoying, mean, ugly, black-haired samurai. The guy has an attitude as bad as his ego! He's stupid and violent too. Jackass!" Allen whipped around, as if he was expecting the man to just magically appear there. However, he did not. Allen sighed with relief.

"… Huh…"

"ALLEN!!" With little-to-no warning, a red-headed spasmodic boy, a little older than either one, jumped into an empty seat next to Allen. "Hey, Allen! You are NEVER going to guess what I heard!"

"Oh, hi Lavi! Kimimaro, this is Lavi. He's another exorcist. Lavi, this is Kimimaro. He's the new guy."

Lavi reached out, and Kimimaro grabbed his hand, shaking it strongly. "Hey man, nice to meet ya!"

"Likewise," Kimimaro replied.

"Now! Allen! I was passing through the halls, and I heard this REALLY weird rumor!"

"Oh boy…" The Walker kid rolled his eyes. He knew something stupid was going to come out of Lavi's mouth. He just _knew_.

"I heard that some Finders off near the city got attacked by this evil squirrel-looking thing! No joke, man! From what I hear, it tried to kill them"

"Lavi, sometimes squirrels do that. It doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah, but you'd think that if Finders were going to get attacked by something, it would be Akuma! It's just so strange, and probably embarrassing to be fought by something so lame!"

"… What about the time you were attacked by seagulls at the beach because you had bread stuck in your hair?"

"Hey! That was different! I didn't know Kanda had it out for me that day!"

"Kanda has it out for you _every_ day, and you usually deserve it."

"That is unfair and untrue!" Lavi folded his arms and pouted. "Hm, Kimimaro, you haven't met Yu-chan yet, have you?"

"… No." At this point, Allen was almost sure he delayed 'no' was his favorite phrase.

"Ah! Well, he's probably going to come for his morning Soba any time now. Oh wait! Look! _There's_ Yu-chan!!"

From across the room, nearly as physically far as one could get from Lavi while still being in the same room, a man in black, with hair a shade of darkness to match, shot a cold glare. And then he went on his way, surely avoiding the two familiar exorcists.

'God,' Kanda thought silently as he chewed at his Soba, not making eye contact with the two buffoons. 'Another Moyashi. _Just what I fucking need_. One is bad enough. That other kid has to get lost.'

Lavi slammed his hands down hard on the table next to Kanda, who would surely have choked on his Soba if this wasn't a near-daily routine by then. "Come on buddy! Come see the new guy! He's cool!"

"Get lost, baka! It's bad enough I had to deal with _you_ all night, and I don't need another problem at my heels."

"Yu! Don't be so RUDE!!" Lavi never got to argue further, as Mugen was unsheathed and happily glinting just a few short centimeters from his throat. "Y-Yu-chan?"

"**DO. NOT. USE. MY. FIRST. NAME. YOU. FUCKING. MORON**" A really awful and deadly shadow passed over Kanda's face, shielding two eyes and showing rage and annoyance with great fluency.

"Kanda! Quit being such a jerk and leave Lavi alone!" Allen came to the rescue of the Bookman. Lavi cried tears of joy at the care his friend showed. Or, it might well have just been that Kanda, as he looked over at Allen, "accidentally" made a little cut on the edge of Lavi's chin.

"Che. Get lost Moyashi."

"It's _ALLEN_, Bakanda!!" The boy had driven himself off of a ditch and was now at the mercy of the samurai. And, Kimimaro, who decided not to involve himself and was watching from afar, quickly saw that this Kanda guy _had_ no mercy. Probably not since the day he was born. No, the Kaguya descendant watched with curiosity, and (he was sorry to admit) a little bit of amusement. Now both Allen and Lavi were forced against the wall, Mugen easily long enough to cross both of their vulnerable necks, and Kanda was glaring at them with immeasurable malice. They were sweating fear.

"Kimimaro! H-HELP!!" At Lavi's plea, Kimimaro rolled his eyes. He was NOT involved. He didn't WANT to be involved. The boy had known him for little over two minutes, and was already more trouble than the handshake was worth. However, he sighed and got up.

Before that point, most everybody had been aware of what was going on. But, it was normal. This happened on a fairly regular basis, and the adrenaline rush had been reduced from repetition. But, the moment the other white-haired boy stood and started walking over, there wasn't an eye in the place unfocused on the event. The last person to challenge Kanda was Allen, and things had gone poorly for him since. The new guy though, he looked promising. He was quiet and unnerving to stare at. That, and his face remained collected, calm, and even a little bit enjoying of the probable fight to come.

"AAA~h! You came!!" Lavi again proceeded to sob happy tears. However, it was short lived as Kanda had Mugen draw in closer, delightfully bloodthirsty that morning as always.

"Beat it newbie." Kanda grumbled. "You aren't worth my time."

Kimimaro knew this had been coming. He'd been aware all along that he'd find some reason, any reason at all, for somebody to get into a fight with him. And it all started right there in the Dining Hall.

"And you're not worth mine. Unfortunately, I kind of need Allen right now, because he hasn't finished showing me around."

"Che; show yourself around. Fuck off, or you'll die next."

Kimimaro half-smiled at the remark. Oh, Kanda'd started it now. "Some things don't seem to change no matter where you go. There's still human trash lying around making threats they can't own up to." The crowd let out a simultaneous gasp of shock, and a few even whistled at Kimimaro's bravery in the face of their local demon.

Kanda's eyes shifted completely to the new opponent. He measured his capabilities. The boy wasn't quite as tall as he was, but had a more muscled and mature build than Allen. His hair was held back in just two places, each in a red, tube-shaped bead. But, nothing caused more interest than the marks on his face. Maro mayu, if he recalled correctly. It seemed that there was somebody else around that he had to deal with now. Mugen retuned from its trip near Allen and Lavi (both of which sank to the ground with relief), and decided to make a visit towards the newbie's nose. But, much to Kanda's frustration, Kimimaro didn't even flinch; didn't even blink.

"You got a problem with living, moron?"

"Do you have a problem with being respectful?"

The samurai jumped at the confrontment and was about to bring Mugen down on Kimimaro, who drifted into a battle stance and as going to use the Kekkei Genkai to his advantage at that second, when a loud gong sounded.

"**ENOUUUUUU~GH!!!**" Jerry, the Head Chef, stood in front of the kitchen's door and repeatedly smashed two pots together, deafening everybody in the area. Kanda and Kimimaro paused in mid-attack, each gracefully in statue stillness just before they would have busted one-another's skull open. "Now, if there's going to be a fight, you two take it out of _my_ cafeteria. Besides, you should be settling this like gentlemen, not wild animals! All four of you, to the track! Right now!"

Everything began in the Dining Hall...

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	5. A Little Bit Squirrely

**I got up really early this morning, and did nothing but right until now, which is almost nine o'clock. Be grateful I'm such an addict. _The poll is fixed now_, so please go take it. I don't own either series... I own the squirrel, if anybody is curious.**

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**A Little Bit Squirrelly**

The 'track' as Jerry had called it, was a path around the Black Order HQ that was rarely used anymore. It used to lead back into five secluded warehouses, but at the age of Komui, they were all destroyed in one way or another by the Kumorins. So, it was now a circular path that led nowhere. It cut through the trees and was incredibly narrow in some spots and confusing too. How could it be circular _and_ confusing? Their ex-gardener had been very mischievous. He'd turned it into a maze, some branch paths making shortcuts, some going to dead ends, and one might have led to the wall outside of the girl's fitting room, but as it had been a rumor from Lavi, nobody believed it.

Not that they never searched, of course.

Kimimaro assessed the round-about course. It couldn't possibly be worse than carrying a lit bomb through the woods with just two rules; one, don't drop the bomb, and two get it ten miles away within the next twenty-five minutes, or you're dead. Come to think of it, there wasn't much that came to mind that would be worse than that situation. No, when set next to the bomb situation of two years back, a simple foot race was nothing to worry about.

Little did the ninja know that Kanda had been the Order Track _Champion_ for the last three years. He was unbeaten at every turn, no matter who he was up against or what sort of dirty tricks they tried. Allen had attempted a fair-and-square run, and failed miserable finishing almost five minutes later. Lavi, being underhanded in the matter as he knew he was too slow, had glued Kanda's shoes to the ground. Kanda ran it barefoot, and still had enough time to stamina to pelt the boy in the back of his head as he was passed.

Allen and Lavi, needless to say, dropped out of the coming race before it even started.

The battle was between ninja and samurai. It seemed that subconsciously, at the back of their heads, the blood feud was reawakened.

Or it could be that they were just in the wrong mood at the wrong time.

Either way, the Head Chef was holding up the flag in front of the starting line.

Kanda looked over at his opponent, cockiness glittering in his eyes. "Stay out of my way, newbie."

"I'd suggest you do the same."

The flag dropped, and they both launched forward. A cloud of dust blinded the hundred-or-so curious onlookers, the contestants out of sight before anything could be done.

At first, the two were equally matched. Not a centimeter separated them. Their legs moved simultaneously, the same fiery desire to win showing on their faces. Though Kimimaro didn't know the terrain nearly as well, he compensated by watching Kanda's movements, predicting where he would turn. Kanda knew he had that advantage, however. So his confidence rose. No Moyashi-boy of any kind, new old or otherwise was going to beat him. There was no chance the newbie could keep up for long at _Kanda's_ full speed.

It did, however, take the samurai exorcist a second or two to realize he was falling behind.

No, he wasn't falling behind at all. He was at the same pace he'd been going the whole time. Kimimaro had sped up. He'd sped up a lot. And then, his white hair, strong arms and legs, those annoying red marks on his face, they were all gone.

Kanda arrived a few short minutes later at the finish line, out of breath and energy, and therefore out of temper.

Kimimaro was leaning against a tree, totally fine, not a drop of sweat on him, being stared down by the crowd like he was either a god or some kind of alien freak. His green eyes showed disappointment. The rush he'd expected must not have been nearly enough.

Kanda had lost.

Kanda had lost badly.

Kanda's ego was in some deep shit.

But, the man kept cool. He stood, straightened out and forced his body to take in oxygen like a civilized being, and approached Kimimaro.

"I owe you an apology Newbie. You don't suck nearly as bad as I thought you would." It was about as far as Kanda could sink in the range of apology. He reached out a hand, the offer of a truce.

Kimimaro looked at Kanda's hand, and then back at the eyes of the beaten opponent.

"I don't shake hands with trash." He walked up the stairs, followed by cheering Finders, grateful Allen, and relieved Lavi (who'd had enough does of Kanda for one day). Kanda stood there, steaming. Who was this guy? Who did he think he was that gave him the right to refuse shaking hands with the best of the best? Not only was he embarrassed, insulted, and thoroughly tired for nothing, but now he'd made an enemy in his own order.*

The Noah were bad.

Tiedoll's incompetent visits were bad.

The Earl was really bad.

The Moyashi was bad.

But the Newbie, Kimimaro, he was the ultimate downfall of any good mood he expected he might have ever had. Kanda convinced his self that unless he did something, that Kimimaro guy was going to "win"; was going to kill his very essence.

If he didn't beat the guy, collect a good handshake, and be done with it, it would haunt him FOREVER.

Because Kanda was just a bit too macho for his own good.

--

"Dude! You are my HERO!!"

"Can you teach me to run like that?!"

"Is this guy the epitome of 'awesome' or what?!"

"I love you, man!!"

Kimimaro had gained a fan base, and he really hated it. He hated it passionately. It had been half of an hour since the small victory, and he'd not heard a millisecond of silence since.

"Can I get your autograph or something?"

"Whoot!! Hooray for the new guy!!"

"Dude, he TOTALLY owned Kanda out there! SERIOUSLY!!"

The ninja who was trained to be perfect, to keep his cool in battle, to keep his cool in public, to keep his cool in leadership, in following, in loneliness, in and off of duty, and in every aspect of his life, was **losing** his cool. His fingers dug into the wood of the table, threatening to break a good portion right off. Not only had that vexing twitch under his right eye returned, but now the corners of his mouth were mimicking it.

And then, amidst the shouting and the cheers and the excitement, he just stopped. He stopped fidgeting and trying to ignore everybody. He stopped twitching every time somebody tried to pat him on the back. He just stopped.

And then, he slowly turned around and glared at all of them. The room dropped into a cold, dead silence. It crept along the walls, nearly forming icicles on the door frames. The chill of the quiet grabbed at even the most obnoxious person's throat, cutting them off.

"Leave me alone."

And then he turned back around and recommenced staring into a scribble of paper he'd been totting around in his pocket since Komui.

Everybody returned to their seats in a heartbeat, pretending they weren't admirably eyeing the boy from afar, each wishing it had been his self to beat their "bully". In their groups, the new guy was the topic of focus. Nobody wanted to hear anything otherwise. Not even the bets on how many servings worth of dango Allen was going to finish off next meal played upon their flicking tongues. But, it was certainly calm enough for the last Kaguya to think properly.

The first thing that came to mind was of his shoes. He didn't really know if he liked them. He was used to nice, loose sandals where each toe had enough room. Now they were all crammed together in one place, cramped and uncomfortable. Socks were another issue of the same kind. They were itchy, foreign things that annoyed his ankles. He would be happy for the day to end so he could just take the damned things off and be free of the sweaty leather things.

The rest of his clothes, however, he could not complain of. The undershirt and pants fit him, which was a first. He'd grown accustomed to just wearing large clothes at that point, and the lack of worry about getting his hands stuck in his own sleeves was a plus. The jacket though, the jacket he liked. The boy that made the uniforms, Johnny Gill, if he remembered right, had taken into consideration his fighting style, making it very different from all of the other uniforms. It barely fit into the Black Order style group, but surely it wasn't in another. It didn't run as long as the other uniforms, stopping a little below the waist line. It didn't have the complicated buttons and medals pinned on it either, just the official symbol of the Order, and nothing more. It was also comfortable like nothing else. Kimimaro swore that he was never, ever, going to ruin the jacket. It was _that_ nice.

Somebody interrupted his thought process by pulling his hair. As a gut reaction, Kimimaro reached back and violently swatted the annoyance.

"Yow! Hey man, that was my eye! I only have one of those now!"

'Ugh, _that_ guy again,' the boy thought. He turned around and got a good look at Lavi. The redhead had taken the bead right out of his hair, using the once-held strands to make a braid. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm braiding! See! Doesn't this look nice?"

Kimimaro gritted his teeth. It was clear enough that Lavi didn't understand the concept of "leave me alone". When he told the Sound Four to leave him alone, they left him the hell alone. When he told any lower-ranking ninja, and even higher ranking ninja, in Otogakure to leave him alone, they ran with their tails between their legs. But, when he told Lavi to leave him alone, the boy came up and braided his hair.

It was definitely a very different world.

"Go away Lavi."

"Maw! But this is fun!"

"... Lavi, I'm not kidding."

"Neither am I! You look really good with braids! See?!" However, when he tied to look Kimimaro in the face again, he found the boy was holding an ivory-white knife right next to his face. The fact that it just appeared out of nowhere made it just as much a symbol of "okay, that's enough now" as Mugen.

"If I were you, I'd reconsider my last answer."

"Um... Here you go..." Lavi returned the bead, and slowly walked away backwards. There had been plenty of sharp objects near his face for a day, and he feared it was only a matter before one got suck there.

Besides, he knew if he just took the bead and ran, he would be caught. Kimimaro had some freaking serious speed. And the guy had managed to slap him in the face (eye) without even looking _or_ looking like he was going to, so he obviously knew something about fighting. Though, if he was willing to go against Kanda in anything, that was sort of a given.

--

Allen made his way back outside after the seething Kanda finally returned to his Soba, delighted to find Kimimaro had gone, as had most everybody in the cafeteria. The samurai was now a personal joke to anybody who glanced his way.

That needed to be fixed.

Meanwhile, Allen decided he needed some more fresh air. It was nice out. The sun hung in the sky, warm and luminous. All of the trees and grass were a perfect green, all alive and well. Birds were cheeping somewhere over the...

No, that wasn't happy cheeping at all! They were angry about, or scared of something. Allen's guard went up. He scanned the leaves of the branches above for anything. It was probably another Akuma attack, something he wasn't too happy about.

A horrible screech lashed into Allen's ears from above. As soon as he looked up to find what it was, however, something crashed down and fell right on his face. Allen toppled to the ground, staring in confusion at the little, angry, chirping squirrel that was dashing around his head. But, it really didn't look at that much like a squirrel. Its ears were long and so were its four legs and it seemed to have a mane as well. But, the tail was unmistakable. It _had_ to be a squirrel.

The little creature made a weird hissing noise, glaring at him with two beady, black eyes. And then it scampered off to another tree, nearer to the Order's entrance.

"... What... the... heck?!"

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* _Because Karma is a bitch like that._

**I hope you liked it!! I had a lot of people who messaged me about the squirrels, so I guess that was a win.**

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	6. When the Boredom Sets In

**This chapter is quite a bit shorter. Mostly, that's because I have a few announcements. The first poll went pretty well considering. I decided I'm going to add not one, but the most popular two so I can keep things more balanced.**

**I'll soon be putting up a second poll to see which pairings you prefer for this story. So, I'm sure I'll have some very excited voters for that one...**

**ANYHOW! Here's your chapter. I don't own Naruto, or DGM, but I own the squirrel, and if anybody wants to borrow it, feel free becasue the damned thing keeps eating the story. xD**

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**When the Boredom Sets In**

'Why won't this day just _end_?!' Kimimaro found he was growing impatient and continually more irritable as the hours drifted leisurely by, on their own accord. He was honestly pretty sure the clock was moving slowly just to make him mad, but if he started yelling at the clock, he'd attract more attention than he already had, and that was the very last thing he aimed for. For the first long while, he just pointlessly meandered through the halls, playing his own personal memory game to be sure he'd learned every twist, turn, exit, entrance, window, and danger zone in the building by heart. Which he did. He knew it tenfold. It came to a point where he was standing in front of one of the doors to a torturous and forgotten Komui storeroom and Kimimaro actually considered opening it to look around just to find some kind of a kick.

He was bored out of his skull. His feet were going to be the death of him, this he was sure. He had to do his very best to avoid the group of younger Finders who decided it would be a good idea to stalk him for autographs and such. Allen was busy and had disappeared somewhere outside, though from a window he'd seen the boy chasing after some small object or whatever. He didn't care where that Lavi boy was, as long as it was nowhere nearby. The training grounds were a very bad place to be; as rumor had it Kanda was taking up the space for destroying any unfortunate Finder who slipped a mocking look in at him. There was NO way he would be going back in the Science Department; not as long as the coffee-high maniac was in there. Not a _chance_. He didn't _have_ anything to unpack, so going up to his room was just as pointless and numbingly monotonous as every other activity he could take part in.

And so, this left near-to-no open options. What he really wanted was **a mission**.

He wanted danger and excitement. He wanted battle and challenge.

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with the very displeased looking dark-haired samurai that was heading in his general direction with a gleam in his eyes.

"Newbie!"

Kimimaro didn't respond. Restfully, he stared out the window and pretended not to notice anything.

"OI! **NEWBIE**!"

Still, no response.

"Fucking God Dammit! You! Kimimaro! Turn the hell around and look at me!"

The Kaguya made an awful and discontented sigh, and did as the samurai so kindly requested. "_What_?"

Kanda closed the gap between them with a bitter, hateful glare. "You any good with a sword, _newbie_?"

"That depends on who's asking."

"_I'm_ asking."

The younger boy huffed a bit. He was in no mood to deal with another pointless challenge. "I'm decent enough for my purposes."

"Then how about we find out if you have what it _takes_ to fight Akuma?" Kanda made his body seem unusually powerful, dark, and sinister. "You and I should cross blades."

"Not interested," Kimimaro shrugged. And then he turned back to the window and watched the happenings below.

"N-NOT INTERESTED?! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING!?"

"Isn't one conflict a day enough for you? Besides, if the race indicated anything of your skills, I'm already disappointed."

The Mugen-wielder growled and grumbled, but would not budge. "I'm not leaving until you accept."

"Well, it seems you're going to be there for a VERY long time, sir."

Kanda rolled his eyes. This guy was just as stubborn as he was, and twice as fast (yep, he finally accepted it). After a good five minutes of neither one giving a millimeter, Kanda spoke again. "What the fuck is so damned interesting out there?!"

"I think Allen is getting attacked by a squirrel."

"... What?"

"If you don't believe me, look for your self." Sure enough, as Kanda peered down into the dusky forest below, the white haired Moyashi was running around unpredictably. He seemed to be swatting at small, brown, fuzzy creatures, which might well have been squirrels, which kept launching out of the trees at him. But, upon closer inspection, it was the same brown animal just climbing back into the trees and repeatedly pouncing.

"... There's something you don't see every day..."

"I was thinking about going to help him, but..."

"...'But' what?"

"I think this is actually a little more interesting."

Kanda gawked with slight disgust. "You're really _SO_ bored, that you're getting kicks from watching your friend get attacked by a squirrel?"

"And you wouldn't?"

Kanda sighed and smirked. "You have a point there." He raised a question, partly to himself and partly to Kimimaro. "And if it was Lavi instead?"

"I'd start throwing things at him to make it more difficult."

"Che, you _really_ don't suck as bad as I thought you would. What did that baka usagi do to deserve that from you?"

"..."

"He messed with your hair, didn't he?"

"... Yes..."

Kanda wanted to just start laughing right there, but as it was in every way against his personality, he refused to allow it. "I'd have killed him right there. By the way Newbie, this doesn't change anything. I still hate your guts."

"Nice to know."

"... Doesn't it bother you at all that I'm going to kick your ass later, or are you really that much of a bastard that this is normal for you?"

Kimimaro glanced over at Kanda with a distinct expression of annoyance. "What do _you_ think?"

After spending so much time around the Sound Four, Tayuya especially, he was just ready to be called out and insulted on everything but fighting skills. More than once she'd decided she would get away with calling him things like "fag" and "boy toy". More than once she'd gone back to her quarters black and blue and smelling of sweat from a good three hours of extra drills.

"Che... That figures..."

--

Kanda, not surprisingly, eventually got bored and left without his fight accepted. That, and because Allen at last wisely decided to leave the poor squirrel alone. Kimimaro retired from watching windows and searched for something else to do. It was darker outside than before, perhaps just an hour or so before nightfall and an appropriate time to go to bed. He'd have to find another place to linger for a while.

In search of just that, he passed by the main gate and noticed a small crowd had gathered in front of it, shifting around with anxiousness and joy. At the front, and the obviously most ecstatic of the group, was Head Officer Komui. Kimimaro went up and asked him what was going on.

"Why, don't you know?" Komui grinned in his response. "My dear, sweet little sister Lenalee will be returning from her mission any moment now!!" As if it was waiting for the very line, the door swung open and three Finders, a scientist who Kimimaro had seen in the department earlier, and a girl walked in.

"WELCOME HOME!!!" Everybody chimed in total unison. The girl giggled sweetly, ran up, and wrapped her arms around her older brother as the mass slowly dispersed. Kimimaro was about to fallow then when the superior reached around, grabbed his arm, and decided a proper introduction was in order.

"Kimimaro! This is my sister Lenalee."

"Hello," she smiled. Certainly, she was quite cute.

"Lenalee, this is Kimimaro! He's the new exorcist I told you about!"

"It's very nice to meet you." And Lenalee, on the other end of the greeting, had to admit. The new guy was cute. And, if what Komui had said about him and Kanda turned out to be true, he was impressive too.

Komui intervened before things got any farther, mostly because he knew that look in his sister's eyes. He knew when she was interested in something... or somebody... or perhaps it was a lucky guess, but that wouldn't be uncommon either. "Now! Lenalee, I know you have some work to do! And Kimimaro! I think it would be a good idea to go get your room situated now! Run along you two!!"

'And don't you dare touch my sister!' he mentally added as Kimimaro disappeared up the stairs, confused and left in the dark as to why he'd been kicked away at all.

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	7. Strange Enemies, but Stranger Friends

**Yeah, that's right! I FINALLY updated! Can I get a "hooray"!?**

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**Strange Enemies, but Stranger Friends**

When Allen got back inside, face covered in various scratches, he was not in a good mood. Most people who are repetitively assaulted by an angry squirrel face this side effect. No, Allen Walker was not about to just laugh off the event and forget that there was some kind of furry mammal assassin stalking him from just outside his window. He was going to avoid leaving the building as long as he could. He would just hope that when he got a mission, it would only be reachable by waterway so that they'd have to take the canals.

From that moment forward, Allen decided that he really didn't like squirrels.

--

Indeed, it was unmistakable. This had to be his room. Komui had written it down multiple times, clarifying that this was, in fact, the number of the room, the position of the room, and the floor of the room.

And Kimimaro _still_ couldn't believe it. Making sure nobody was around to watch, he closed the door. He opened it back up again. And then he repeated the process a few more times. The bedroom, not surprisingly, didn't suddenly transform in to some kind of medieval torture-chamber. It remained exactly as if had when he first looked inside.

It was by far one of the most beautiful rooms Kimimaro had ever seen.

Perhaps it was only beautiful because it wasn't dark, damp, filled with bloody wires and syringes, and it was _his_. He liked the room just as much as he liked his jacket.

The Kaguya went into the room and sat down on the bed. It was soft, unusually enough, and the blankets had no gaping hole ripped into them from a fight over "who gets it". The nostalgia of having to fight off Jonin-class Oto-nins just to get a new set of pillows almost made him laugh. They'd been pretty desperate for supplies after Orochimaru announced their invasion plans.

The room had an undeniable floral smell to it. He didn't know quite how this was, as there weren't any flowers in sight, but it was there. It was almost like lilacs, he believed. When the boy turned his head and looked at the rest of the area, found there was an actual closet, not just a sign that said "Throw Your Clothes on Floor Here", and a window that overlooked the forest below.

He was completely convinced there was absolutely no way the situation could get better.

"OH! Yu-Chan!! It's not that bad!!"

"Baka!! **Don't use my first name**!!" Kimimaro listened to the door of the neighboring room slam violently shut.

"Oh, come on now!" Lavi was griping horribly at his friend. "You can't be all uppity just because of something that stupid! It's not like it hurt you or something!"

"Go away, Baka Usagi!"

Lavi sighed and his footsteps led away from the door of Yu Kanda. A door directly on his other side was opened and shut.

Suddenly, the position of his room bothered Kimimaro.

He was jammed between Lavi and Kanda, with Allen's room just a few doors down from Lavi's. He could see the war before the first battle was even fought.

As if in accordance to the prediction, a third set of feet stomped down the hall, accompanied by grumbling and mumbling of the disheartened species. It was Allen, no doubt about that.

Lavi's door swung open and knocked into the wall. "Allen!"

"Eh? Oh... Hi Lavi."

"Whoa man... What happened to your face?"

"... You know that whole squirrel thing we talked about earlier?"

"Yeah, why?"

"... I believe you now." He made a beeline for his own room. The Bookman Jr. sighed loudly enough for the Kaguya to hear and then that door closed too.

It was suddenly a disturbing and lonely room. The boy ninja could see a daily problem developing from being in close-contact with the only exorcists he'd really met thus far, and also by far some of the strangest people he'd ever come across.

And yes, this included the Sound Four, and that freaky kid in the green spandex with giant eyebrows.

Either way, Kimimaro thought it necessary to go out and see if there was anywhere, anywhere at all, where he'd be able to hide until the neighbors were out cold. As quietly as he could (which is saying something when you have ninja stealth), Kimimaro tip-toed to his door. All he needed to do was get to the library without being noticed by anybody else in the halls.

Ironically, at the very same time he was about to leave and had opened his door, Kanda appeared from his room. He had the near-exact same plan playing out in his own mind. The rivals were quick to meet glances.

**Mission: Failed**

"Oh hell no!!" Kanda shouted at the newest exorcist. "There is no fucking way I have to put up with all three of you bakas right next to me!! NOT HAPPENING!"

"Hm, what's going on Y—" Lavi stepped out into the hall as well, and stopped abruptly when he saw the new boy. "Hey! Kimimaro! I didn't know your room was over here!!" He started beaming, showing in the white of his teeth all the ideas he had to annoy the new friend. "That's awesome!"

"No it isn't, Baka!"

"Hm? What's wrong with...? Oh, that's right! Yu-chan is still really embarrassed that you beat him, Kimi-kun! Really hurt his ego! GWAH!" Lavi ducked back into his room just as Mugen flew down where his skull had once been. A muffled shriek echoed behind the door. "AIIII! Yu-Chan! That was my _favorite_ headband!"

"You're lucky it wasn't you _head_! Come back out here so I can finish killing you!!"

"Not a chance!" The lock clicked into place and Kanda's face was turning red with fury. Or, it could be that Lavi had just embarrassed him about the fact that he was embarrassed.

"Grrrrrr..." A freezing glare managed to work its way right through the wood of the door and weaved its way into the redhead's very soul, trying to rip it apart with nothing but a set of sharp teeth. It was a very mentally painful process, to be sure. "I swear to God, Usagi, you are going to die at _MY_ hands!!"

"But you have to get me fi~rst!" Lavi giggled mockingly from behind his line of defense.

Kanda suddenly appeared quite defeated. "Dammit," he whispered.

"... Why don't you kick the door down?"

"Gwah! Kimi-kun! Don't _HELP_ him kill me!!" Lavi was speaking with a shrill tone from behind the door.

"Can't. Komui rigged them not to break." Kanda even stabbed the entrance to the prey's domain with Mugen to get the point across. The metal object simply bounced off uselessly. "Otherwise, he'd already be dead," Kanda spat. It was as if Kimimaro had asked something very stupid. Kimimaro, now thoroughly convinced he'd done just that, frowned at his self. The Black Order's members had become increasingly difficult to understand, as had the world they lived in.

Kanda leaned against the wall, contemplating revenge. How would he manage to kill Lavi, or at the very least give him a black eye, if he was sealed away in such a place? Then again, _why_ did he need to kill Lavi to begin with? The only reason he was mad was because Kimimaro still hadn't accepted his challenge! Come to think of it, it was a good time to press again...

What Kanda didn't notice was that as he was thinking about bringing up the subject of a good fight, was that he'd been glaring at Kimimaro. The ninja could feel its hatred, intentional or not, drilling into his face. It was quite uncomfortable. What had he done wrong to deserve such a look after Kanda had been so close-to civil around him? Was the question really _that_ stupid? The white-haired boy's frown grew deeper. This was not a favorable position to be in.

"Fight me."

"... Now?" Kimimaro raised his brow, a bit surprised by the sudden impulsive request. Well, it was more of an order than it was a request, but either way, it was pretty spontaneous.

"Yes, _now_. The hell would I have asked if I didn't want to fight you right now?!"

"..." He couldn't think of an answer for that one.

"Well?"

"Fine."

Kanda smirked. But what was Inner-Kanda saying? Simple Inner-Kanda was screaming at the top of his imaginary lungs "Seriously?! YEEEESSS~!!!!!! You are _SO_ pwnd now!" Or something along those basic lines.

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**So... Good? Bad? Liking or not liking the crack? Either way, I'm off to overload my system with VOCALOID music!**

**Oh, and you see that button down there? Yeah, how about pressing it and REVIEWING? Please?**

**And, and to whoever it was that put "Write On" in their review for this story, but it was anonymous, I'll tell you now that you've made me quite paranoid. It was our camp motto. It freaks me out and makes me believe somebody is watching me write. Why? IDK.**

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	8. Warriors' Clash

**Wow, do I update this story quick under Focus-Mode or what? xD**

**I don't own anybody in this story but the Squirrel. And, if you want to borrow the evil squirrel of doom, help yourself. But please tell me, because something about randomized murderous squirrel attacks makes me happy. ^_^**

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**Warriors' Clash**

Komui looked up from his brand-spanking-new Kumorin blueprints. "Kumorin Extreme" was sure to keep the men far away from his precious baby sister, no matter what. And that included the new guy. Komui didn't care _how_ fast or strong the guy was; there was no damn way he was getting his hands on Lenalee!

When he drew his eyes from their previous focus, he came upon a little bushy-tailed creature. It had somehow gotten inside and was intently sitting on Komui's over-crowded desk and chewing some old papers into nest-making material. The Head Officer, interest peaked, set down his pencil and leaned over to get a better look at the thing. The thing stared at him with a pair of beady black eyes. The Chinese man could see his reflection in the little squirrel's eye.

"Why, hello there little guy!" Komui lowered his head to get a better look at the petite visitor. "Now, how in the world did you manage to get in here?"

It began chattering, teeth bashing teeth over again. Komui didn't quite comprehend the purpose of the quick clicking. "Maw, aren't you just adorable? I'll call you... Komukins Junior! What do you think of that?"

Apparently, Komukins wasn't very hot on the idea. It leapt into the man's face and bit down unnecessarily hard on his nose. Komui screamed in pain, and the squirrel kicked off his glasses and sent them crashing to the floor. Miraculously, they didn't break on impact. Komui, now bleeding, whipped around rapidly and Komukins went spinning through the air, taking a good bit of Komui's skin with him.

"Wha-What was that?!" The Head Officer sighed with relief when he realized the animal had run off. "Phew... Now where are my glasses?"

Crunch.

Komui sighed. "Drat."

--

Kanda weighed the wooden practice-swords with his hands, trying to figure which one was the best match against his opponent. Kimimaro, not having ever practiced with a sword that wasn't made from his own bones, hadn't the slightest idea what weight had to do with anything. He just picked the one that looked sturdiest, figuring that the poor stick would get quite the beating.

But, Kanda wasn't going to take any chances. Only the most worthy blade could follow his movements exactly the way he wanted it to and that was true even in practice. He selected the one in his right hand, whose length and weight was the closest to that of Mugen.

"Alright, let's get this over with."

"Right." Kimimaro faced Kanda, ready to begin their little battle with a courteous bow and allow Hell to break loose. Neither one, however, actually managed to get into their positions before they heard some high-pitched whistling from the doorway. Just outside of the training room, a crowd had gathered. Both boys frowned at the sight of various Finders and Scientists waving and cheering for their sides. Somebody in the back was even taking bets. "I think we need to take care of them first," Kimimaro suggested, almost more to himself than to Kanda.

"Che," the elder exorcist breathed and walked over to the door. Almost everybody backed up against the adjacent wall. And away from the sour samurai. Kanda slammed the door shut and locked it. "There." A few of the would-be onlookers' lucid groans managed to make their ways to the warriors' ears.

And _then_ the two approached and bowed.

And _then_ all Hell broke loose.

Kanda was the first to move. Kimimaro had to admit that even though the older boy didn't have the foot speed of a ninja, he was pretty close. And he was probably a lot better with his hands than he was with his feet, considering that he was a samurai.

Kimimaro narrowly managed to parry to the left before Kanda struck him. The ninja took the opportunity to thrust. This didn't turn out as well as he'd envisioned it to. Instead, Kanda dusked below the attack and spun around. The replacement-Mugen jabbed upwards and Kimimaro nearly bent back into a right angle to avoid simulated death. When free of the sword's range, he jumped back and created a little more distance. Kanda remained still and in his place, patiently examining every point of his opponent's stance.

"Your techniques are sloppy," he jeered. "That's disappointing."

"I said I was good enough for my purposes, not that I was proficient," Kimimaro pointed out. The only time he'd needed to use a sword in battle was when he faced multiple opponents, and he normally overwhelmed them so that proper skill wasn't essential.

"Either way, you're going to lose." Kanda gazed at the boy. He was fast, but he wasn't fast enough to go against a skilled swordsman.

Kimimaro just smiled. It seemed that his rival was more exciting than he'd originally assumed.

--

Reever walked into the office and abruptly stopped, staring wide-eyed at the blood dribbling down his superior's face. "Head Officer Komui! Are you alright?!"

Komui used his free hand to wave Reever into a calmer mood. His other sleeve was preoccupied with soaking the blood from his wound. "Yes, I'm fine." Either way, Reever was grabbing the first-aid box from around the corner and coming to the rescue with various Band-Aids and disinfectants.

"What happened?!"

"I'm not really entirely sure. One moment I was working on my Kumorin project, and the next I was being attacked by a squirrel."

"... What?"

"I was attacked by a squirrel," Komui nodded.

"You... were _attacked_ by... a s_quirrel_?"

"See? It even sounds insane when _you_ say it."

--

Kimimaro wiped the blood off of his bottom lip. Things were not going well for him. Kanda was pleased as hell, smile or not, but the ninja was in a bit of trouble. It wasn't worth using his Kekkei Genkai to get out of trouble. And so, without the assistance of his bloodline limit, the Kaguya was screwed.

Kanda had yet to finish him off, at least. But he'd mostly just made it his own joke by whacking the younger in the head with the handle of the wooden weapon. Kimimaro didn't stand a chance.

If he actually wanted to avoid a night of repentant beatings, there was really only one way out. "Alright... I'm clearly no match for you like this," Kimimaro spoke softly, probably getting tired. "You win." He straightened out, obviously in no temper to continue. Kanda just walked over to the beaten adversary.

"That was substandard at best," he scowled. "I thought you were supposed to be a great warrior, not an amateur."

The boy's green eyes conveyed a hint of agitation, though his face was showing slight satisfaction. "I'm no amateur. I'm just not a swordsman."

"Che. And what _does_ that make you? My guess is that you couldn't fight your way out of a box; only run away from it."

He just had to open his mouth. He his _had_ to.

And now, Kimimaro was fully intent on letting Kanda pay the price for his comments.

The boy threw the wooden toy into the wall and cracked his knuckles before the impact even met his ears. "I recommend you get your real sword," the ninja hissed. "Because I'm finished playing this game with you."

At first, Kanda was just going to roll his eyes and wipe his hands of the dilemma. However, when he noticed the boy's arm was rapidly shifting shape, like little creatures were running around under his skin, he found he was stopped in shock. What was going on?

Sharp, white spears protruded from the boy's arm and fitted into the palm of his hand. Kanda's mind rushed to figure out just what they were. Some kind of Innocence? Or, was the guy an Akuma? But, could it be that he had just pulled out...

...His own bones?!

Kimimaro drove his weapon out at the older exorcist's head with incredulous speed. Kanda could dodge the assault only because he was backing out of range quick enough. He scrambled to the corner, throwing away the practice weapon and picking up Mugen, unsheathed at the beat of a heart.

"What the hell are you?!"

"This," Kimimaro demonstrated, absorbing the dagger back into his skin. "This is my Kekkei Genkai. I can control my own skeletal structure at will, and even take out bones to use as weapons." He reached over and removed his jacket. The leather object got tossed over by the practice sword where it was unlikely to be damaged. From the bare spot on his shoulder, he shifted his bones again. Kanda watched with amazement and disgust as Kimimaro pulled a sword out of his own arm. Kimimaro grinned at his rival's horrified face. Or, as close to horrified as he suspected Kanda would ever get. "Surprised?"

"You are a freak of nature!"

"Hn... That's one of the more decent things I've been called."

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**Gah, _now_ look at what you've done, Kanda! This can't possibly end well, now can it? Hm, maybe it can? I don't know. I write the stuff I don't participate in ninja vs samurai battles.**

**And, to those of you who are interested in my random comments that I put down here that probably never get read at all, you need to hear the song Dancing Samurai by Gakupo Kamui (VOCALOID) and look at the english lyrics for it, and tell me it doesn't sound exactly like what Kanda must be thinking all the time. Do it. go. Listen to this random music I have assigned you, for it is your misison!**

**As it reviewing!!!  
**


	9. Komui vs Komukins

**It's been a while since I updated. I'm busy. VERY busy. And still, nearly every dang day somebody adds this to alerts or favorites! You have no clue how touched I am!**

**But, seriously, taking two seconds to put "Write On" in the review box (which freaks me out. There's a story behind that, and I might share some other time) isn't really _that_ hard, is it?**

**Please?**

**Yeah, and this chapter is short... because I made it that way... =(**

**Angry face.**

**I don't own D. Gray-Man _or_ Naruto. ...**

**=(**

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**Komui vs Komukins**

So, maybe it wasn't the wisest choice Kimimaro had made all day. Maybe it wasn't even the wisest choice he'd made within the last five minutes. Either way, he'd just used his Kekkei Genkai against Kanda, and things were only going to get more complicated, this he was sure.

Kanda was frozen in his ready position. He didn't dare make the first move. The eyes of the two warriors were all locked, evaluating with a brutal chill.

"Kid, if I were you, I'd be hiding something like that, not showing the world."

The grin of the younger was compromised. He turned suddenly blank and bitter. "I really don't care what _you_ would do."

"Oh shut the—"

There was a loud bashing on the door. "Yu-chan! Come on buddy! I know you're in there! Come on! It's not all right to kill new people!"

Kanda gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on Mugen. "GET LOST!!!"

"Yu-chan, if you don't come out, I'm going to come in there!! I have the key!"

"Shit," he breathed. "I really fucking hate the Baka Usagi." He pointed at Kimimaro, who was already shaping up and getting rid of the weapons. "You! We'll finish this some other time."

"That's it, Yu! You two have ten seconds, and then I'm coming in!"

Lavi didn't need to wait that long because that door swung open and smacked him square on the nose an instant after. Kanda, looking just as ornery as ever, stormed out and headed for his room. Kimimaro went in a similar direction, but waited a moment. First, because he didn't think it would be appropriate to suddenly pretend to be chummy with the crowd, no matter how much potential it had to frighten them away. Second, because he needed to get his jacket.

He was quickly bombarded with questions from random onlookers. "Hey! Who won?!"

"Yeah! Did you kick Kanda's ass again?!"

"Can we watch next time?"

Kimimaro glared at them, with no reaction. Mostly, this was because they had their eyes closed and were smiling too big to have eyes functioning at the same time. But, they were all surprised and sad to find that when at last they opened their eyes, their new hero was gone. He had disappeared like a wisp of smoke. And what were all of them thinking about that?

"Damn... That guy is fucking amazing!"

--

Bam!

There went the right shoe.

Bam!

And then the left one.

God, it was about time. Kimimaro ripped off his socks and wiggled his toes. They were all angry now, yelling and cursing for having been stuck in such an uncomfortable position all day. The boy fell back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to recount everything that had happened to him that day. It hurt his head just recollecting the first couple hours.

"How did I get my self into this mess?" He sighed and kept gazing into the back of his mind. Nobody answered him, as expected. He touched his cracked lip. It was enough to make him smile all over again. "How long has it been since somebody could outmatch me in battle?"

--

Kanda sat on his bed cross-legged and groaned. He now had some very displeasing mental images. He'd seen a lot of things in battle that could make a man's skin crawl, but never before that day had he actually seen skin crawling.

Mugen glinted over in the corner, calling its master to stop worrying.

But, that wasn't going to be possible. He had three important things to reflect on before he was even close to ready for resting. First, what was he going to do about the new guy? Was he dangerous? He'd seemed pretty decent to Kanda. Kimimaro was one of the only people he could think of that might not be a complete issue to wok with. Then again, this power of his, this... Kekkei Genkai. Was it some kind of evil thing? It was too early to determine. He'd just have to sit back and wait, and then strike down the enemy if he turned out to be such.

Second, who'd actually won the fight? It was fair and obvious that when they were strictly using swords, Kanda kicked ass. When the other boy switched over to his more natural fighting style, it could have well gone either way, for what he knew. But, Kanda supposed that the winner would be determined next time around, and he had no intention of losing.

The samurai shrugged and pulled the covers over his head, ready to just fall asleep. Just as his head hit the pillow, Kanda contemplated the last question.

How the hell was he going to get Lavi back for his embarrassing remarks?

--

"A mission?"

"That's right! It's going to be four of you guys this time."

"Four? That sounds pretty serious." Kimimaro examined the description for their mission. "Why four?"

Komui sipped his coffee. "Well, I can't say that there's any real reason. Things are slow around here, and everybody's getting antsy, so to speak." He scratched at the bandages on his face for a brief moment. "Originally, it was going to be just you and Lavi. However, Kanda and Allen have been bothering me for a very long time about going on a mission."

"Isn't it dangerous to send so many out at once?" The ninja looked over the paperwork, not closely, but enough to get a decent idea of what was going on. "There might be Akuma attacks."

"That's not really a problem. If something like that happens, we can just radio our exorcists. Besides, we do have a few others right now that are available for missions."

"... I see."

Komui chugged down the last of his caffeine and adjusted his glasses. "Alright, I need to brief the other three, so you could wait over in the halls, if you want?"

Without verbal response, Kimimaro left the room and hid- gah- I mean, stood patiently in the hallways. Rumor had it that Kanda was testy today. Very testy. More so than usual, even, if that was possible. Which, it might not have been. Either way, after the last little battle, the ninja knew enough to stay off of the older teen's bad side.

If in fact he did have a _good_ side at all.

Lavi, at that moment, burst into the room screaming bloody murder, flailing around like he'd caught fire. He had a firm grip on something just in front of his nose.

And wouldn't you know it? Komukins had struck again. The boy's quick turn sent the little chattering beast sailing across the room, where it landed with a light thud on the desk in front of Komui. The Head Officer shot up like he'd been his by lightning, running over to the corner of the room next to Lavi.

"Wha-what the hell is that thing?!" Lavi grabbed the Chinese man and used him as a shield, trying to ward off the squirrel that was so contently now chewing up paperwork from anywhere it pleased.

"Komukins... He's evil!"

The Bookman-in-training looked Komui straight in the eye. "Sir, you NEED to get rid of that thing!"

"Eh? I don't want anything to do with it!"

Lavi frowned and suddenly got smacked in the face by a brilliant idea. "It's been attacking everybody. What if _Lenalee_ gets hurt?"

"... Lenalee?" Out of thin air, the man pulled out a machine gun and his helmet, smiling demonically and fitting the squirrel into the crosshair. "Prepare to die, foul vermin! You shall not lay a single one of your disgusting paws on my dear sweet Lenalee!!" He glanced quickly back at Lavi. "You'll have to just get Kanda and Allen and go on the mission without a briefing."

"Hm? Oh, alright..."

"Thank you. **BANZAI!!!" **The room was suddenly filled with a barrage of bullets.

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**See that pretty little "REVIEW" button down there? You know you want to press it, put "Write On!" in the text box just to make me paranoid, and then press the little submit review thingy!**

**You _know_ you do...**


	10. The Problem With Revolving Doors

**Wow! What a late update, huh? Would you believe it if I told you that even though it's been a month since I put almost anything up, I still get mail about THIS story almost every day? DAMN! You people rock! Again, I like reviews, and "Write On"s.** **ALSO! See the bottom for an announcement on a another story I'm working on that might appeal to D. Gray-Man fans and those who just like a good blend of action and humor!**

**I don't own either D. Gray-Man or Naruto. **

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**The Problem with Revolving Doors**

A glorious copper-gold sun was smiling up there in the sky as it watched the green grass and open fields below.

Of course, as soon as it saw Kanda's abnormally angry face stare out the window, it tried to hide behind some trees and look very small, meek, and helpless. Perhaps then it would be shown mercy. However, all hope of mercy or just politeness was shot dead when Lavi knocked on the Japanese boy's door and cooed his 'good mornings'. "YUUU~ Chan! Time to get up! MISSION DAY!"

"**I GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, USAGI BASTARD!**" The door swung open, and for the second time in twenty-four hours, Lavi was struck directly on the nose and fell backwards. Mugen didn't really seem to care that Lavi was whining and bleeding and holding his likely broken snout, or even that Allen was now running over to help the injured and shouting harsh threats at Kanda. However, the sword was particularly interested by the sighing, docile-looking boy leaning in the frame of his own door.

Mugen was suddenly very close to the "innocent bystander".

But the Kaguya boy ignored Kanda's glare and raised one eyebrow in question. "Not a morning person?"

Kanda scowled and felt his face tighten with annoyance.

**BAM**

_**--**_

"Hah... hah... I bet... I got him that time." The Head Officer hunted the destroyed office for the remnants of the rodent. "Well, Komukins, did I kill you this time? Hmm~?"

And his message was quickly responded to with a thump on the head. Komui span around and saw the chattering squirrel push a box of 'well-hidden work' off of a high shelf and disappear through a hole in the wall. The bushy tail of the demon-squirrel vanished.

"OH NO!! I must get it before it finds Lenalee!!" Komui shrieked. The man tumbled around the fallen paperwork and out the door, still tugging his weaponry along.

_**--**_

"What the hell is going on over here?!"

"Huh, is that... Oh boy..."

"Ahahaha~! WHOO! Go Kanda!"

"Kick his ass Kimimaro!!"

"Eh? They're at it again!"

"Yep. Right in the hallway. Awesome. HIT HIM! **HIT HIM**!!"

"Holy shit! Look out!" Mugen flew past the heads of a few surprised Finders. It stuck of the wall, going completely ignored. After all, the battle was more interesting on leveled ground.

Kanda and the newbie pushed away from each other and stood; fists ready and a few knuckles already bleeding on both sides. Kimimaro was sporting a reddening spot, which was sure to turn into a black eye before the day was done, and he spit some blood from his mouth where Kanda had managed to his him on the cheek. Kanda wiped the blood form his split lip and continued his attempt to size down the opponent with a cold glare. His wrist was already starting to hurt. He had to give Kimimaro credit there; his head was harder than a rock.

A swift round-kick nailed the samurai on the left thigh, though it did little more than severely tick him off. Kanda threw another punch at his chance, but Kimimaro managed to step back barely in time to dodge it. He wasn't fast enough to evade the kick to the side of his head.

And before anybody could even say "Daaaamn! That looked like it hurt!" The two fighters were on the ground, trying to kill one another through wrestling. With the younger disoriented, Kanda was able to get him into a chokehold in a few easy movements. Kimimaro jabbed back with his elbow a few times, stabbing Kanda in the gut hard, but with little reaction. It was bound to turn into a blood bath.

"**THAT'S ENOUGH!!**" Lenalee, having come to the rescue, grabbed Kanda by the back of his shirt and tugged him back. The Japanese landed flat on his back, surprised and angry as ever. The crowd ebbed into a frightened silence.

Because pissing off Lenalee was worse than flipping the bird to the Millennium Earl himself. Other than Lavi and Allen, who were obligated to stay, everybody quickly found escape routes.

"Kanda! What were you doing?!"

"Che."

"You _know_ that you are not to be getting into any fights, let alone with new members. I should have my brother take you off of mission duty for the next year for what you did!"

Bam. Kanda was silent and completely civil. Lenalee didn't even have to get her clipboard. The dark haired boy stood up, casually walking away and making his way to the canals. Allen and Lavi hurried after; avoiding any scolding Lenalee might have in store for them.

Which, they knew perfectly ell, left Kimimaro a sitting duck.

But hey, _somebody_ had to be the decoy. And nobody in their right mind would volunteer for the job. They glanced back one final time at their surely to-be-dead comrade before rounding the corner and disappearing.

The ninja pushed to his feet, thoroughly pissed off and in need of an excuse to "accidentally" kill Kanda. And by "accidentally", he meant he was going to stab him in the face.

"Hey, are you alright?" Lenalee offered a hand and helped him to his feet, which wasn't something the Kaguya boy knew what to make of.

"Fine."

"Ah, good. Kanda can be a bit difficult sometimes, but don't let it get to you, okay?" She smiled sweetly.

"... Right." He too was soon off towards their destination. Lenalee, however, was actually lucky in that he left so quickly.

Otherwise, he'd have seen her blushing.

--

"_.Hell_." Kimimaro raised one eyebrow as he looked at the ridicules glass-propeller-like-thing ahead of him.

Lavi patted him enthusiastically on the back. "This is a revolving door, see?" He spastically ran around in a full circle in the door. "See? It's cool! WHOOPS!" Lavi glanced up at the clock. "Well, we need to get moving! C'mon buddy!!" The redhead darted back through the spinning entrance and was off and gone before another word was uttered.

And again, Kimimaro was left baffled in the street. He tapped the glass. It moved slightly. "Huh." He pushed it, following it around.

CLICK.

The glass stopped moving and trapped him inside, between the inside of the building and the safety of the outside world. When he punched the glass, it didn't even register a crack. He glimpsed a little sign in the upper part of the pane. It read "Industrial safety-glass! Designed to withstand hurricane-force winds!"

"Dammit," he whispered.

* * *

**Like it? Let me know. I can't promise quick updates because of the yearly test and homework surplus, but I will try.**

**~~ STORY ANNOUNCEMENT~~**

**Under the profile The Court Cards, which you can get to quickly from my favorite author's section, I am the main writer of our little series there. A lot of time and effort went into The Fools' Journey, and feedback is great! And we're always looking for suggestions and help. So, pop by and have look at the story, alright?!**

**_Vote for Panda!!!_**

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	11. Chapter 11

Dear Readers.

I'm so sorry I haven't updated lately! I wish I could now, but my computer crashed a while back and now I've lost all of my files until I can either get it fixed or salvage what I can. I'm currently using my mother's laptop (Crap-top), and I'll get kicked off in a few minutes anyway. Please hold on a while longer!!!

--E.


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